Foggy Vision

A few months ago, I succumbed to purchasing my first pair of glasses.  The real ones.  Not the dime store “readers”.    I am trying to wear them all the time, but it is hard.  The very thought of them reminds me that I am old(er), therefore I just don’t want to wear them.  But to see better, I need them.  I have begun to master the “progressive prescription” and don’t bob my head as much as I used to. They simply have taken some time to adjust to wearing.  But, there is this one thing and it gets me every single time:  The Oven. Without fail, I go to pull something out of the oven and WHAM … the glasses fog up.   If I would simply remember to shield my glasses during that one task, my vision would remain clear.  But I don’t. And the kids giggle every.single.time.

Rounding out of the holidays and into the New Year always feels like my heart is foggy.   But it seems like this first week, the eyes of my heart have been showing me some good (and hard) stuff.  Each day, one task, one thought, one event has stood out … and in those standout moments there has been a bit of clarity. (you can read those ugly and lovely, ridiculous and serious thoughts below)  It is clear that God is consistently at work in our lives and He is ready to back it all up.  He backs it up with those sweet truths I learned when I was younger and my vision wasn’t so foggy.  His Holy Word.  We just have to remember to continue to shield our hearts with those truths  so we can see clearly. While I begrudgingly had to adjust the vision of my eyes at forty five … I want to so badly continue to find joy and life while adjusting the vision of my heart!

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January 1st  Visit HEB three times today.

Today, I realized the obvious:  I go to the grocery store too much.  Way. Too. Much.  I know the names of over half the employees, I can lay out a list according to where it is in the store, I know the peak times and the low times, I know when they stock and when they need to restock.  I go to the store a lot.  Mostly because I don’t plan well. And while it drives me crazy about myself.  I hope to be different in the days to come as it would be a better steward of my time to plan, right?  But until then … I am (almost) always glad to run into a friend, help someone, lend an extra smile or kind word or just have a good visit with Gail at Lane Three.   She really is the sweetest.

Hebrews 13:2  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.

January 2nd  Don’t get a hair cut. 

I am overdue for a haircut.  And today I figured out why.  I don’t like getting my hair cut for one reason.  (ugh).  I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror that long.  Phew.  That was a bit harder to write than I thought. I thought it on Day Two and pushed it down into my heart.  Doesn’t the Evil one want us to do that … push down his lies, so they stay with us and fog the vision of our heart.  Well pooie on you, Satan, I spoke that one outloud. This one is a work in progress … 

Psalms 139:14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.

January 3rd. The kids go back to school. Do a happy dance.

I LOVE when school starts.  I am not ashamed to say it.  I love it when I come home to an empty house.  Make note that this is coming from the gal that thought she would/should homeschool.  While, I treasure our two weeks at home for the holidays and delight in each game played and puzzle put together … I love when school starts.  And I am equally glad when the summer begins.    When I see that some moms are sad that there kids are leaving and a twinge of guilt sets in.  I worry if  my kids are in enough activities (when actually they are in … well, hardly any).   But somewhere in the quiet of my home, I am beginning to settle into the amazing way God shows his creativity and intentionality.  He has made sure that each of our lives look different.  Even though we are all on the same planet, not one family has the same ebb and flo, we aren’t in the same season, and never do we have the same outcome this side of heaven. We all go about it different and that is okay.  He even made it so that  the blessings and burdens could never match up. When walking with Him, it’s easy to see.  When comparing to others,  it is hard not to want and wonder if you are in the right place. Daily, I breath prayers to live well in the season He ordains for our family.  Right now, I am just really really glad that it is the season that the kids are in school … and learning not too feel guilty about that!

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens

 

January 4th.  Balloon Release.

I think it gets harder every year to celebrate the life of Kayleigh, our sweet five day old friend that changed so many lives.  The memories, the relationships, even the adrenaline of those days seem to fade just a bit.  Four years ago, we were desperately leaning on to Jesus and looking for and finding Him in the craziest of places as we treasured each precious moment with Kayleigh.  Going through tragedy with a friend is never ever something we wish for … but the depth of relationships, the goodness of God, and the lessons learned are something we would never wish away.  Oh, to look intently for Jesus in the hard hard seasons and the easy ones as well.

Matthew 6:33  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

January 5th  Gotcha Day.

A year ago, we adopted Mark and Roman.  For me it’s hard to celebrate that day.  While we are ever so grateful that we are a family of seven…there was tremendous loss for our sons to get to this point.    There is tremendous loss in millions of kids in our country.  And well, we need to do something about it.   Not just “we” as in Team Boyd.  But by “we” I mean “us” the living, breathing, “have more than we know what do with”  us.  I know fostering and adopting scares the kapooie out of most everyone.  I get it … it scared me.  And yet … it changed me forever.  I would never ever want the boys to have the life they were headed for … even on the days when I long deeply for how “easy my life was with three kids”.   WE (as everyone that has the ability to read this) has AMPLE resources to give to foster agencies …  financially, mentoring, donating clothes, furniture, sharing a meal, volunteering, fostering … and the best … adopting.  It is time for us to do something about our kids without families.

James 1:27  Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

 

January 6th. Throw a shower 

 I have struggled with the purpose of prayer.  I find it hard to believe that my requests, whether whisper or begging, can change God’s course.  I trust Him.  I don’t always like what He does.  But I fully trust Him. I have seen my wavering heart become strong in His plan and purpose through prayer.  Call me greedy … I just call God giving.   I saw it on day six of the New Year. Four of us were decorating for a shower, we stopped and prayed for a friend going into a serious heart reboot.  A most unlikely of places to stop and talk to God … but we did.  And He listened and calmed my heart.  Another work in progress … maybe I will pray while I get my hair cut.

Matthew 6:9 ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come,
your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

 

January 7th    Research Sinkholes.

 As a child I used to spend hours worrying about what I would do if I came across quicksand … or worse, if I fell in!!!  I spent time planning my escape and would approach sand boxes with extreme care.  Now, I worry about sink holes.  Seriously.  Sinkholes.  They swallow cars.  And the people in them.  At least now, I long for heaven … I guess a sinkhole could be a memorable way to go.

Matthew 6:25-34 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

 

January 8th    Look at life.

The speaker at church had us share our New Year Resolutions with a neighbor.  I was silent.  I don’t like resolutions because I never ever keep them.  Never.  Ever.   Setting my sights on an entire year makes me shut down.  I am more of a moment by moment gal.   It’s cool to take the everyday, right now moments and trying to see what God is up to.   Some moments are crystal clear.  Some moments just fog up your internal glasses..  Some moments are revealed right then, some moments are revealed years later.  Some moments have instant resolution, some (a lot) are a work in progress. 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

How is your heart vision going into this year, today, this next moment?
There is alot to be seen … let’s be looking!

 

One thought on “Foggy Vision

  1. Blessed by your thoughts and sharing His Word. Love hearing about your family and how God is using all of you. Family and friends are wonderful gifts that God gives us for love and pure joy ! I know your house is full of craziness and laughter mixed with daily “stuff”. Love reading about it.
    It is one of life’s blessings to have known all of the “extra” kids He put in our lives when Greg and Brad were growing up. We needed some sweet and fun girls around to balance out all of the boys always at our house. You and Heather that and more. 😀👍I still smile at memories of those days. Now we get to see a new generation of fun in the Lord with GREG and Brad’s families. Praising God for our three wonderful grandkids.

    Love reading your blog

    Love you,
    Ann Smith

    Like

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